Me looking veryyyyy decent with his spec *thumbs up*
Another picture...without being specky :)
And another of me, trying to act cute but failed :(
Here's the decent ME and the not-so decent HIM :)
And the post begin...
This is a picture of us all in 2009 at Phuket, along with two of my bro's girlfriend at that time.
What happens when a family that used to be perfect in everyone's eyes suddenly is imperfect anymore? Not because of betrayals and lies but the loss of the loved one and there's no one or no way you can blame on because it's a part of nature that God has planned? What happens when the person you used to see every morning, every night, in fact, everyday just suddenly isn't there anymore when you thought they will be? What happens when you were so close to this person since you were a kid and that person is always around during your process of growing up, but you suddenly come to realize that he will not be there to watch you grow up, get your job, get married and get kids and watch you grow old? It's heartbreaking. I remembered my friend lost his father few years back and although I know it is tearing him apart, but I do not understand how the pain feels like. Or so I thought. But now I understand. I understand how it hit me so badly. Simply because that person is my dad, the man who brought me to this world, the man who provides me with necessities and education, the man who loves me unconditionally, the man who tells me what is right and wrong, the man who protects me and give me the best, the man who means everything to me and leave my friends telling me how lucky I am or how they envy my family. And today, 5th of August, is his birthday. Up to this point, I still miss him. I constantly think of how it would be like if he is still around, because trust me, losing someone you loved so much is not easy, it is not, and it might just break your heart into pieces but you have to gain all your courage to live and move on again. No one can really understand how it feels, with all the stress that is building up, to think about having him around, about expenses, about the family, about studies, about career, about how to overcome the depression.
I have this thought ever since he passed away. Existence of spirits. Is it real? I question myself all the time. Sometimes I talk to him in my heart and I wonder can he listen? Sometimes when we ask him to visit us at home, did he really came home? Frankly, it matters. I just want the family to be like how it used to be again. I know he is not around anymore, but I love the idea of him around us. Because this is how great love can be, not boy-girl relationship, but a love from a daughter to her father, and this is why I may talk about him less, but it doesn't mean I miss him any lesser.
I posted this status on my Facebook for him on 26th June :
DEAR HUBBY'S HEART,
5 days more to our another monthsary.
I didn't say that our relationship would be easy, but I promise
it would be worth it. Thanks for being mine.
♥ Wifey's heart.
Not a relationship is with no ups and downs, even our relationship. You may be imperfect in everyone's eyes, but it doesn't matter at all because we are all imperfectly beautiful, but always remember, to me, you're perfect, you're perfectly mine and you give me the best relationship that I can find nowhere. I don't need a guy who looks like Johnny Depp or Brad Pitt, I don't need a guy who can gives me all branded bags or cash, I don't need a guy who wants to bring me out just so he can show me off to people, I don't need a guy that forces himself to pretend that he loves me dearly, I don't need a guy that try very hard to understand me, I don't need a guy that change himself to suits me or change me to suits him, I don't need a guy that fake all sweetness we have in a relationship, I don't need a guy that betray me and lie to me but come back and pretend everything is alright, all I need is YOU, and I promise you our ride might be rocky, but it will never end.
