Life, is not a U-turn

Life is not a U-turn and this is why I blog. I don't do it on a daily basis but I try to blog as often as possible and to remark every single thing, but some are meant to be in the heart.


Today is pretty good, normally I would sleep in the office for an hour or two before 9am because I reach at 7am, but not today, because I drank chicken essence. Anyway, yesterday, 1st of June 2011 is second monthsary for me and hubby, there's no any special celebration but I'm still a happy girl, because he's with me, always and everyday. We sort of had a small argument last night but it's just a super small matter, we settled it calmly and efficiently *ahem* :D Btw, happy 2 monthsary again hubby, I wished you through the phone, through sms, through Facebook, through face to face, and now through my blog. Anything that happened last night, no worries about it, we are learning to be better for each other, couple argue sometimes, that's why being in a relationship is fun, but being in a relationship with you is perfect, because you always make the impossible possibles and you always make me feel very lucky.  People envy us :) Anyway, as usual, my daily routine, work, wake him up, text each other all day and off from work then I'll meet him every night. I love our simple yet lovely life. I posted a picture on Facebook just now and somehow, I came up with this as the caption (I didn't copy it from anywhere, merely my thoughts) which I'm totally in love with and I dedicate this to the love:

I don't want you in my life, I need you in my life
I don't like you, I love you
I don't stay in the past, I live for our future
I don't want us to just be together, I want us to learn from each other
I don't hope for just happy times but miserable ones too as long as we are together 
I don't want us to stay as long as we can, I want us to be forever
We're lovers, but also best friends

Thanks for everything, hubby ♥


True enough, life is never a U-turn, u missed it, u might get a second chance, but that's if you're lucky, if you're not, you just missed it. Cruel but reality. Me, yes me, I'm still learning, in all aspects, and I'm not wanting to be perfect, but just perfect enough for those that matters to me. 

Undeniably, we have hypocrites in life, they smile to you but they backstab you behind, or maybe they spoke to you in a manner that is not-so-polite just because they think they are so damn right. To me, I'll just ignore. I only care about those who matters to me and you can't hurt me in any ways if you're plain nothing, so, keep going on with all your behaviors, I don't even care, but maybe you should sit down and think of better ways to use your 'energy' and contribute or use it wisely? I don't know, it's your life anyway :) But, if your intention is to hurt me, or bring me down, or ruin my relationship with hubby, you can try, really, although I always put a smile on my face, and you might think I'm so easy to bully because I'm petite and sometimes I'm way too silent, try then, you will know you're wrong, wise person fight with words, not actions, and definitely not rude behaviors. And I'm not your ordinary girl-next-door that you can lay your hands on. Renee is not this fragile and weak especially when it comes to protecting herself :) You will need to earn my respect, earn it, not ask for it. But I guess I made a conclusion, some people they will never grow up, that's why they are always at the starting point and never move far. 


That's about it for this post, have a nice day, and stay tuned for my next one :)


P/S: A getaway with my hubby this Saturday, we're spending the night outside, and we will have a great time for sure.

Reminder

For the person who loves me dearly :)

24 hours, 1440 minutes and 86400 seconds, all in a day...

Human, all have equal time but all uses it differently. As a day passed and a new day begin, it reflects us on what we've done yesterday and we plan what are we gonna do in the future. As i grew up, I always remind myself that good things doesn't come in all the time, you don't just wait for it, instead, you gain it. Just like trust, it doesn't build in a day, it takes time to earn it. I remind myself everyday that I'm lucky and grateful for still breathing when others want to but have no chance. Sometimes I complain about my life and how it being a bitch at times, but to think of it again, life is never a straight road and a smooth journey, it's rocky and that's what makes life interesting rather than dull. I remind myself that I should appreciate people more because it is not a MUST for people to treat me nicely. I once take people for granted and think that I deserve the good treatment but I don't realize how grumpy I am sometimes and yet they bear with me. I remind myself that love and relationship doesn't fall from the sky, yes, I believe in fate but if there is fate yet you just let it slip away, it will never gonna work anyway. Just like me and hubby, if you readers read my post, you will know this love doesn't come easy, we let chances slipped before but we managed to catch it back. I remind myself that parents are never here forever because eventually they will leave, it's a nature. As much as I hate to think of this, yet, it is so true. And all we can do is to cherish them for as long as they live. I remind myself that trust is not meant to be misused. Simply because a person trust you completely, it doesn't mean you're given a green light to cheat and betray. I remind myself that I should live everyday to the fullest because I might just fall and die the next and never open my eyes to see the world again and how I would regret when I'm unable to tell the people who matters how important they are to me. I live to love, laugh, and cry and I thank those who loves me for who I am. 

Leaving April behind and welcoming May

I blinked my eyes and April month is coming to the end already, one day more and I'm stepping into month of May :) April has been a great month for me, despite all dramas and miserable things that happened, it has been great after all. Too many things happened in this month but I'm feeling happy throughout this entire month, minus a few nights where I actually tear, not because of relationship, but some other issues and now, I'm getting used to it already. I learned that sometimes, some things they are not controllable. Let it flow itself and it might be better for everyone. Also, it's great to know that there's someone who actually loves me so deeply, is always here through ups and downs and accepts me completely for who I am.

I'm missing April because:

1st April is when me and hubby clicks together :)

I'm looking forward to May because:

Its my first month anniversary with hubby which falls on the 1st May, can't wait to wish him *giggles*

My internship begins.

A month closer to my birthday and I'm expecting pressie? Not really, just crapping :)

Awaiting to see what's for me on May, good or bad, bring it on.

Notice how the first reason for both months is with hubby in it? Yes, this is how much he mean to me. 

Till then, the next post will be....SOON!

*counting down, 1 day more*

Reflection on life

The past - Everyone experienced it and they reflects on what they did

Ask yourself how much u value a friendship before u complained how u does not have any true friends
Ask yourself how sincere and real u are before u judge people that they are fake
Ask yourself how much u gave before u complained there is too little that u take
Ask yourself how much this person is worth to u before u ask him/her how much u values to him/her
Ask yourself can u keep your promise before u make any
Ask yourself how many percent of your words are the truth and lies
Ask yourself what has u done in the past before u complained about your worst scenarios
Ask yourself did u trust others before u complained how they don't trust u
Ask yourself how u treated your friend before u say they make your life a misery
Ask yourself how u treated your family members before u say how they upsets u
Ask yourself did u give all u have already before u complained about an unsuccessful scenarios
Ask yourself why u have no true friends before u said they takes u for granted
Ask yourself why your lover cry for u before u complained how annoying they are
Ask yourself do u care as much as u say u do before u say they neglected u
Ask yourself do u mean every word u said before u say how people doubt over u
Ask yourself how u take things for granted before u complained why u do not own happiness
Ask yourself if u put any efforts in things u do before u complained about how sucks the result might be
Ask yourself did u really change for the better after period before u complained why you're still alone
Ask yourself why others moved on and live a better life when you're still standing at the same spot
Ask yourself why when others are a success but you're a failure
Ask yourself why you're hiding underneath the blanket crying when your ex are already out with other girls/guys
Ask yourself why do u closes every chances u have when there are many opportunities offered
Ask yourself have u ever reflect on what u did and how much u picked up and learn from there


CHANGE! With changing then you'll see a window that opens for u even when a door shuts, never stand still at the same place where u stood years ago when people are already walking their path, you truly live your life only when u initiate the first move.

With love, 

Renee A

Restless

Listening to: Aku bukan untukmu by Rossa

So many things is going around

People never seems to be as pure and sincere as they used to be

Everyone starts faking in front of each other

People no longer appreciate what others do for them

Please, for just once, make my life easier for me

Please, for just once, put yourself in my shoes and understand my situation

I'm restless

I just want to live a simple life

And people, stop giving me hard times

I want to be the one whom I used to be

Not by putting a fake smile and face people when I'm feeling shitty inside

Please, don't be selfish anymore

Just once, try to understand the bigger picture

I really appreciate this

Perfection VS change

What is the definition of perfection? As stated from websites:

- Being complete of its kind and without defect or blemish

- A state of completeness and flawlessness

- A quality, endowment, or acquirement completely excellent; an ideal faultlessness; especially, the divine attribute of complete excellence

Whatever, it's all nonsense! Because...nobody is perfect! No matter how hard we try to be, no matter how we change, no matter how well we watch ourselves, nobody is really perfect, or some may say, perfection is on the eyes of beholder, true enough :)

So, if perfection is on the eyes of beholder, why bother asking your love ones or friends to change? If their personality is the reason why you're first attracted to, but why after time to time, we started to get anxious and demand them to change? From this to that, from that to this?

This is the question I'll never know the answer, I'm sure many of us don't. Human nature is all I can conclude.

If nobody is perfect, stop asking people to change to reach your level of perfection, it's impossible, they might reach your so-called perfection level, but then they will not be them, make sense? If you yourself is not perfect, why bother asking people to change for u? Tolerance is different, it is not changing :) 

In one's life, we might experienced all these before, either to families, friends or lovers, we try our very best to please them and end up being in a miserable life. Why? Simply because we feel there is a need to change, so perhaps we will be better, yes, i agree, change to be better, but not changing yourself entirely please. This is not healthy. We can't please everyone, let say initially we are A, then we changed to B, but during phase B, some people might like us, some might hate, then slowly, we change to phase C, and again, the same thing happens! See how the circle goes? It's never ending! So why bother even pleasing everyone when u can never please everyone? 

Live your life the way u want it, change if it's for better, but never change YOURSELF throughly, no matter for who :) Everyone is unique in their own way, trust me, this is true!

Conclusion: Please yourself and respect those you cares! Life is too beautiful to keep stressing yourself dearies!

With love,

Renee A

Maybe, it isn't the truth

Sometimes things u see might not be true, sometimes things u read might not be real, somethings things u hear might be just rumours, sometimes it is just a misunderstandings. People can always cover their intended messages in another way, so that it will not appear obvious, or to make themselves look rather strong enough to handle the worst, as long as they can make people around them happy, this is what I do...

With love,

Renee A

Not yet an ending, but a good beginning...

This year is gonna be a real busy one, with college, work, everything...

College
Will be learning how to run an event, write press releases, news letter, design, everything. And once Sem 4 ends, will be going for intern, then back to Sem 6 once intern ends :( OMG, coming to think of it, I don't think I have much time to rest..

Work
As usual, modeling and freelance, but hmmm, I thought of maybe quitting this field, maybe do something else, something I find more passion with I suppose? :) I need money to support myself, for everything..

Time
Despite how busy I am, I need to spare some time for myself, my family and also someone important :) Both of us will be very busy, he will be even busier than me, as usual, but yeah, time management...I promise u I will plan my time wisely k, I won't be so bad till ignore u for sure, u too yeah :) I think I need to care for my family more, there is a certain period where I'm extremely busy and always moody that I don't talk much and communicate with them, so I need to change, I want my family to hear my laughters always, they want me to be happy...

Stress & emotions
Learn to handle my emotion and stress. Life can be such a bitch sometimes but let it be bitchy for just a short moment, then make it sweet, because life is the greatest gift. Someone once said I'm always depress, partly of it are true, maybe cause I feel lonely, but I will learn, from every aspects...

Health
Needs lots and lots of improvement and handle with care...I can't let all those tiny matters influence my health condition anymore. All my friends and family said the same thing to me, which is I look very very pale and sick. Yes, I know, I will take good care from now on. Don't worry about me. Like my tagline always says: I'm strong :)

Love & relationship
It will be good, no matter how many times it fails, it will end up being good, I have confidence in it. But yeah, let it flow by itself.

Friendship
I screwed some of it, and I'm gonna fix it. I want my friends back, but of course, those who worth it.

Hurt
To those I hurt before, in whatever aspects, I'm deeply sorry.

Family
Daddy and mummy, I'm sorry if I've been rude to u all before, sometimes my temper is beyond my control, but I will learn to be more considerate next time, I hope u will be proud for having me as daughters, I love u both, deeply! For the past one month, I know I didn't accompany u both much, but I will now :)


I misses my grandma :( I wants to see her everyday, but she is in Klang. Once a week perhaps?




Too many things I have to learn, I'm already 19, I need to learn, I need to control my emotion and stop being depress, people worry about me, I shouldn't make them worry. So, in 2011, I will try my best to fix stuff. I will! :D


To my love: It's nice to have u :) Be good and I will always be by your side, this I promise...always remember our fairytales and what we talked about...

Deserves

-Everyone deserves equal chances, no matter how wrong that person had been, he or she might change as time proves everything-

I have faith

With love,

Renee A

It's only a dream

So many friends around me broke up lately, either because of third party, or its their insufficient understanding and compatibility. Break up hurts but we will grow up from it. Never waste time on someone who's not worth it at all, never drop tears for someone who doesn't care, never care for someone who cares for him or herself more than u, never give your heart to someone who take it for granted, never have faith on someone who misuse it, because all of us deserve the best for ourself. Money can't buy love, money and goods is only a sign of affection, but giving your heart is a commitment. 


I've experienced it before, of course it hurts a lot, but at the end of the day, u might learn something, u might even found out the truth, the truth that people have been telling u all this while but you're too blinded by love and sweet talks, and this is a precious lesson.


No matter how people hurt u, be strong, because being happy with life is the sweetest revenge, no point being upset about it if it's over, if that person cares, he or she will come back to u. Lies can be made perfectly sweet, we fall for sweet stuff, we are blinded by it, we refused to listen, we fight with our instincts to force ourself to trust that person, we find reason for them, we tried to figure out why the person we love so much would hurt us in such way...


I never fill myself with hatred, I only fills it with doubts, but I find it pointless to figure out the answer now, because we have to move on :) 


I have so much more to express here, but I guess I don't have to now, it's enough said.


PAST is past tense
NOW is present tense
LATER is future tense


After few Mr or Ms Wrong, we will definitely find THE ONE, I still have faith in love, because someone shows me it does exist...

With love,

Renee A

A girl

When a GIRL is quiet ... millions of things are running in her mind.

When a GIRL is not arguing ... she is thinking deeply.

When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions ... she is wondering how

long you will be around.

When a GIRL answers ' I'm fine ' after a few seconds ... she is not at all

fine.

When a GIRL stares at you she is wondering why you are lying.

When a GIRL lays on your chest .. she is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a GIRL wants to see you everyday... she wants to be pampered.

When a GIRL says ' I love you ' .. she means it.

When a GIRL says ' I miss you ' .... no one in this world can miss you more than

that.

Life only comes around once make sure u spend it with the right person ....

Find a guy .. who calls you beautiful instead of hot.

who calls you back when you hang up on him.

who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. 

Wait for the guy who ... kisses

your forehead.

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.

Who holds your hand in front of his friends.

Who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he

is to have you.

Who turns to his friends and says, ' That's her!! '

The above are all true...

Hands up or hands down?

Okay, this is a random post, I have no idea what to update still, so I landed on this effing random post of mine. Just a little thought :) Have fun reading.


Nowadays, i came across many friends that tells me how a female is or how they will attract the males, like through the way they behave, the way they think and look at life, how they dress up, and surprisingly, some even told me facts (this is what they called as facts, which i certainly don't agree) to live a better relationship with your other half, or to attract guys.

1. Girls always relies on the boyfriend, especially financially, like nags them to get expensive stuff, or expect the guys to pay everything. 

My view: Hey, not all girls are like this okay! Girls nowadays are way more independent compare to last time, we can support ourselves better than you think! Yes lah, maybe guys will still pay for outings for meals and movies, but not everytime, cause we girls pay too! And since we do, means not everytime also guys contribute money only lo! :)

2. Girls always likes to receive gifts, especially expensive ones! But they don't give back people, or if they do, the gifts usually is cheap!

My view: So.Not.True. Everyone loves receiving gifts, I mean who doesn't love expensive ones, all of us do right! Boyfriend sometimes will get the girlfriend branded stuff, sometimes we girls do that too, but when we don't, it simply doesn't mean we are stingy, but we pay more attention to various aspects and we even HANDMADE stuff for the boyfriend! Isn't that sweeter and more thoughtful? At least we put efforts in making it rather than buying it from the store!

3. Girls SHOULD act dumb sometimes because guys will love us more.

My view: HANDS, LEGS, FINGERS ALL DOWN! I certainly don't think girlfriend should act dumb because by acting dumb, is it true that boyfriend will fall deeper for us? No way. If we have the brain, we have it, so please accept the fact that we do! We are not bimbo! Any guys that likes to take a girl out with only looks but not brain? And whenever the guy say something, the girl will have to act like she is so impressed? OMG! And my friend said : Girls har, must be dumb sometimes one, only can reflect the knowledge of your boyfriend ma. What for?! Guys should be proud to have such intelligent girlfriend okay! Why must act dumb le? Do u want a girl that keeps silent when u discuss about certain matter or gives u opinion? I know how guys sometimes only need a pair of ears to listen, not the big mouth to talk, we understand this, this is call being understanding and considerate, nothing to do with being or acting dumb at all.

4. Girls, slow and lousy driver.

My view: Eh, i drive 140km/h sometimes, this is slow? And I never met any accident yet! I don't hit the brake pedal suddenly or simply cut people's lane okay! *touchwood* Enuf said. (maybe I should slow down, everyone said I don't drive like a P license driver)


5. Girls only know how to waste money on cosmetics la, branded stuffs, clothing, etc....

My view: Nonono. We don't buy only these stuff. This is what you guys see. We pay for car installment, insurance, expenses and the list goes on (Yes, I paid for all listed above). 


6. Girls expect guys to be mind reader!

My view: Errr, this one I have to agree, but guys do too right? :)

7. Girls that follows Japanese style are "lalas" or "ah lians"

My view: Go bang wall pls! Go and figure out the definition of  "lala" and "ah lians" first!

8. Lastly, girls should have 34C-23-34. And if you're nothing like Leah Dizon or Angela Baby, you're far from being perfect.

My view: My body figure is not nice I admit, but if you're with a girl just because of her body, please, u might as well get her to do plastic surgery and YOU'LL PAY FOR IT! Even my face also ok ok only, so what? Outlook matters but not 100%, guys, get this right. Or all girls have to do plastic surgery, inject botox, make her boobies bigger only consider attractive? If so, then what for God created us differently? If everyone went for surgery to look like Leah and Angela Baby, then everyone down the road will be having the same piece of face. So stop complaining how imperfect your girl is, stop looking at her flaws and start looking at why she is beautiful instead. All complains will only make her self-esteem lower, seriously!



Whoa, coming to the end of this post, I realized how long this is, and this post is so COLORFUL :) Me likey! Anyway, drop some comments if u read this, I appreciate it! Nights!

With love, 

Renee A