Cross roads

It's been a month since my last blog post and I know, maybe people or you readers don't really remember me anymore. Trust me, it's not that I don't want to update on my Facebook page or my blog, but I been through too much and I just need to take some time to get back on track again. And now I'm back :) Although I haven't fully recovered yet, but I'm holding on and be strong, and never in my life I'm as strong as this. So daddy, you must be proud of your girl :)

I finished my internship, started my college, talked to friends, and most of the time I spent it with hubby. He is very supportive and at times when I cry, he will just hug me and listen to me. About modeling life, I'm not sure if I should just call it quit, but under certain circumstances, I have to continue. Studies wise, it's my last semester for diploma in mass communication,  I have to gain all that I have and graduate and proceed to degree. Well, my results ain't bad, for every sem I get a minimum of 3.5 for my CGPA. This is the least that I can do for my beloved daddy. Thanks to everyone who is supporting me all this while, to everyone who still remembers me and view my blog even though I didn't update, to everyone who care for me, to everyone who take Renee Ang as who she is. 

Daddy

Daddy,


You've left,
Leaving us on this Earth,
But worry not,
We will live, and we will live for you,
I questioned God,
Why did he took you away, 
So soon, so sudden,
But I know this is all fated to be,
Let the tears wash away,
All the pain that caused by your death,
All that live must die,
We are all no exception,
It's just a matter of time,
You left now, and we will all follow, 
When our time has arrived,
God took you with him first,
And keep you beside,
You're in a better place now,
As much as it's hard to believe and let go.

I wrote a book of you and us,
With words, pictures and tears,
Each and every word is memories of us family together,
And one day, I shall read it to my kids,
To show how strong their grandpa was,
And how we all learn from you,
Although you weren't here to witness,
But from above, I know you're smiling at us,
And keeping an eye on us,
Daddy,
Worry not,
Just rest in peace with no worries,
Like how God want you to be,
Although you're gone,
But in our heart, 
You stay,
Now and forever.


Sincerely,
Your daughter

Helpless

Too tired of dropping tears for nights before sleep, I pray for all things to be fine again, sincerely...

I see myself as imperfect

Too many things these days, too much to bear and handle, physically and emotionally, I guess I've been through too much, in this one week time...and I'm feeling so fragile now, so weak, as if I have no energy left, and it's just a body with no soul...


Daddy,
I look at you and I recalled of too many things, I'm so worried on the inside. The other day when you were admitted to the hospital, I wasn't as worried as I am now, but then you was admitted to ICU, and that was when I feel so afraid. Things got worse when you have to undergo an operation, and it's today. Not being able to be there this morning, I cried and I feel so useless, I can't to anything at all but just sit down and pray and tell myself to hang on, because you need all our support. Our family been through too much this year and I'm helpless, but now we are all standing strong. Yet, you're on the bed now. I thought after this operation tat doctor say it has only 5 to 10% percentage of success and you'll be fine. But I was wrong, very wrong. You have few more to go, and one of it, there's no percentage of success at all. I just don't know what to do anymore. We all care for you, mummy care the most, she told me, she comforted you this morning that everything will be fine, but she was worried inside. Please, I beg you, please be alright. We want you to hang on, we want you to be strong. This is all too sudden for us, smiling and laughing on the outside but each time I look at you and I control my tears. I don't want this years Father's Day to be the last that we spent together, I want to still jokes around with you and eat durian with you, I want you in my life, I need you! 24 more hours till you pass this critical situation, and get ready for new one. We all pray for you, so you have to be strong. I know you're not gonna read this, but be strong. Because your daughter, me, is learning from you how to be strong too. 


I'm a strong girl wannabe, I'm never strong, I cry easily, I'm imperfect, and just now, I did something imperfect, something that I normally wouldn't do, but all I want now is to be able to talk and be with you, only you, no one else, yet, I heard the most hurtful words, anyway, sorry to YOU. You know who you are. 

Past is a shadow, present is a gift, future is a blessing

Today I transferred pictures from camera to my lappie and then I view the pictures, of me and the love, one by one...Somehow I came across this very beautiful picture of us and I can't help but keep looking at it and smile :) And then I recalled on what you told me last night just before I went to sleep, and again I smile.  I have to admit that you're in every part of my life, even the tiniest matter. I think I'm just out of words to say about how I feel about us, but it's definitely a good one, no doubt. I realized just how happy I became and how I would end my night perfectly perfect with wide smile spread on my face, every single night :) It's that one chance that we grabbed that turn us into what we are now, to make up on what we had lost before, on the chances that slipped away, on the fate that we never appreciate last time, but for what we are now, I don't regret, because if it wasn't for what we experienced in the past, we won't live the present and future together. I still think about our past, I know when this bothers me, it bothers you too, but the shadow will go away eventually, I see the shadow fades away, little by little, it takes time, but I'm willing to go through it, knowing I'm safe with you, knowing we are each other's, knowing that you love me and I'm your priority, knowing that this is the love between us both, knowing that we are not each other's first but the last. I will fulfill my promises, I'm learning, in every aspects, to make myself a better person, and I'm learning it from you. Thanks for being such an inspiration, because relationship isn't just about love, it's more than that. 

I love your life, just like I love mine ♥

Life, is not a U-turn

Life is not a U-turn and this is why I blog. I don't do it on a daily basis but I try to blog as often as possible and to remark every single thing, but some are meant to be in the heart.


Today is pretty good, normally I would sleep in the office for an hour or two before 9am because I reach at 7am, but not today, because I drank chicken essence. Anyway, yesterday, 1st of June 2011 is second monthsary for me and hubby, there's no any special celebration but I'm still a happy girl, because he's with me, always and everyday. We sort of had a small argument last night but it's just a super small matter, we settled it calmly and efficiently *ahem* :D Btw, happy 2 monthsary again hubby, I wished you through the phone, through sms, through Facebook, through face to face, and now through my blog. Anything that happened last night, no worries about it, we are learning to be better for each other, couple argue sometimes, that's why being in a relationship is fun, but being in a relationship with you is perfect, because you always make the impossible possibles and you always make me feel very lucky.  People envy us :) Anyway, as usual, my daily routine, work, wake him up, text each other all day and off from work then I'll meet him every night. I love our simple yet lovely life. I posted a picture on Facebook just now and somehow, I came up with this as the caption (I didn't copy it from anywhere, merely my thoughts) which I'm totally in love with and I dedicate this to the love:

I don't want you in my life, I need you in my life
I don't like you, I love you
I don't stay in the past, I live for our future
I don't want us to just be together, I want us to learn from each other
I don't hope for just happy times but miserable ones too as long as we are together 
I don't want us to stay as long as we can, I want us to be forever
We're lovers, but also best friends

Thanks for everything, hubby ♥


True enough, life is never a U-turn, u missed it, u might get a second chance, but that's if you're lucky, if you're not, you just missed it. Cruel but reality. Me, yes me, I'm still learning, in all aspects, and I'm not wanting to be perfect, but just perfect enough for those that matters to me. 

Undeniably, we have hypocrites in life, they smile to you but they backstab you behind, or maybe they spoke to you in a manner that is not-so-polite just because they think they are so damn right. To me, I'll just ignore. I only care about those who matters to me and you can't hurt me in any ways if you're plain nothing, so, keep going on with all your behaviors, I don't even care, but maybe you should sit down and think of better ways to use your 'energy' and contribute or use it wisely? I don't know, it's your life anyway :) But, if your intention is to hurt me, or bring me down, or ruin my relationship with hubby, you can try, really, although I always put a smile on my face, and you might think I'm so easy to bully because I'm petite and sometimes I'm way too silent, try then, you will know you're wrong, wise person fight with words, not actions, and definitely not rude behaviors. And I'm not your ordinary girl-next-door that you can lay your hands on. Renee is not this fragile and weak especially when it comes to protecting herself :) You will need to earn my respect, earn it, not ask for it. But I guess I made a conclusion, some people they will never grow up, that's why they are always at the starting point and never move far. 


That's about it for this post, have a nice day, and stay tuned for my next one :)


P/S: A getaway with my hubby this Saturday, we're spending the night outside, and we will have a great time for sure.

Reminder

For the person who loves me dearly :)

24 hours, 1440 minutes and 86400 seconds, all in a day...

Human, all have equal time but all uses it differently. As a day passed and a new day begin, it reflects us on what we've done yesterday and we plan what are we gonna do in the future. As i grew up, I always remind myself that good things doesn't come in all the time, you don't just wait for it, instead, you gain it. Just like trust, it doesn't build in a day, it takes time to earn it. I remind myself everyday that I'm lucky and grateful for still breathing when others want to but have no chance. Sometimes I complain about my life and how it being a bitch at times, but to think of it again, life is never a straight road and a smooth journey, it's rocky and that's what makes life interesting rather than dull. I remind myself that I should appreciate people more because it is not a MUST for people to treat me nicely. I once take people for granted and think that I deserve the good treatment but I don't realize how grumpy I am sometimes and yet they bear with me. I remind myself that love and relationship doesn't fall from the sky, yes, I believe in fate but if there is fate yet you just let it slip away, it will never gonna work anyway. Just like me and hubby, if you readers read my post, you will know this love doesn't come easy, we let chances slipped before but we managed to catch it back. I remind myself that parents are never here forever because eventually they will leave, it's a nature. As much as I hate to think of this, yet, it is so true. And all we can do is to cherish them for as long as they live. I remind myself that trust is not meant to be misused. Simply because a person trust you completely, it doesn't mean you're given a green light to cheat and betray. I remind myself that I should live everyday to the fullest because I might just fall and die the next and never open my eyes to see the world again and how I would regret when I'm unable to tell the people who matters how important they are to me. I live to love, laugh, and cry and I thank those who loves me for who I am. 

Sometimes I'm fragile too but I learn to be stronger

Picture at work - yesterday

At work, sorting out databases now and decided to blog for awhile :)


Well well, life, my life? Pretty tiring, travel to and fro on weekdays to work, have to wake up early by 3 hours to drive and to get parking space or I'll end up paying RM25 per day, then have to travel for 2 hours back home. Sigh. Apart from this, work is fun :D People here are extremely nice, and I learn a lot from all of them. Even the CEO from London are nice too. 


Back to my personal feelings. Something happened last night, and it triggers my emotions but everything is back to normal now. I dunno why but I think I'm too emotional sometimes and this is not good. I cried and he's hurt when he see me cries. 

Thanks hubby for being so understanding. It's not your fault at all, but true enough, it's our problem and we solved it together :) Whatever I said to you last night and all this while, I mean it. You're my family and I hope things will never change between us. Truly appreciate you in life.   

Have a nice day ahead readers, off to work again, ciaoz*

Lovely Tuesday with loved ones

I'm happy when you're with me

As I will start my internship tomorrow, so hubby and I decided to shop for my formal wear at Midvalley today and mummy went along with us too :) Hubby's first shopping trip with mummy in law. Hehehe. We arrived there about 1pm and off for lunch then sent mummy to Gardens before we both proceeded to Midvalley and hunt for clothes. Me being a shopaholic grabbed few clothes to try and I loved every each of them but as my priority is to look for formal wear, therefore, I gave up on other not so formal wear :( Hubby being so patience waited for me outside the fitting room while I tried on clothes. After looking around few shops, its hubby's turn to buy clothes now. He's not starting his internship like I do tomorrow but he's just being a shopaholic with me. Only the second shop and we both spend about 1k already *faint* Money gone :( Then we moved to my third shop and I spotted a dress and I tried, hubby said it's nice so he bought it for me, thanks hubby, I'm a happy girl :D Few hours later and we meet up with mummy and drove to Sunway to buy another pair of formal wear and had our dinner then we headed home. Hubby actually drove my car the whole day and I know he's tired but still accompany me, I'm touched, thanks for everything you do and for spending time with me and mummy as well. My mummy loves you, your mummy in law loves you, and I love you the most! First day tomorrow and I'll have to wake up super early, hopefully things will be alright, nights and sweet dreams readers.

Interview

Holla from home! :)

stressful face before interview :(

Hubby :) *knock his head, keeps avoiding when i took his picture*

Me and kitty

Awww  ♥ 

ME!

As promised, will update about my interview result on this post. Went to Bangsar for interview with an international company today, accompanied by hubby who woke up early in the morning to go with me and not knowing the way, we managed to arrive earlier than expected without losing our way. Interview at 2pm and hubby waited for me while playing with his macbook. Long story short, I got the placement for my internship! :D They offer RM800 per month but parking is another issue. Season pass is not available yet because the company just shifted there, and according to my senior manager, if I were to park at the basement as visitor, the fees is RM25 per day, unless I park outside the building which means I have to arrive at 8am for a spot. OHMYGOD. Jams + parking issue frustrates me. Basically, this company is a company that manage speakers and impressively, we have clients like Dr. Mahathir, David Beckham and Tony Fernandez and more to list out. As this company is not any regular company that interns will go to, therefore, there is a lot to learn from here and I'm so looking forward. Work starts on Wednesday, a 9am-6pm job which is not a problem at all. After interview, we went back to Sunway and chilled and I camwhored using OUR macbook. Yes, mine is his, his is mine. Anyway, just wanna thanks my hubby who accompanied me today and he actually did something that is sooooo adorable that I decide not to mention here. Hehehe. Till the next post...

A new path in life

Hello readers, jolly jolly Sunday :)


Had a great Saturday night with hubby and friends, and today Sunday, me and hubby plan to watch PRIEST later at no-idea-where-yet because he's busy looking at the map to send me for interview tomorrow at Bangsar. Speaking of interview, I will be going to interview as it is a part of my internship for Semestar 5. Not sure if I can go through it but most probably yes and I hope it is a yes. The company is an international company and they are generous enough to offer RM800 per month for an intern, which normally companies don't offer any salary and even if they do, it is about RM200 or RM400 max :) So I hope I get my placement there. Till then, will update bout my interview result on my next post, bye readers!

Mummy, the greatest woman in life

Me with my superwoman ♥

Since young, she has always been there to look after me, to pamper me and love me. Although we never show affection towards each other by saying "I LOVE YOUs" or even pecks on the cheeks, and in fact, we often argue, sometimes the argument prolongs and we wouldn't talk to each other for a month or so, but I know deep inside, she loves me, and I loves her too. I'm feeling very emotional typing this post, with tears in my eyes, but I truly wanna express how I feel.

This woman, she is 50 years old now, she gave up her work because she wants to look after me. This was when I was in primary school. Since then, she stays at home with no complains at all. I may be loud to her sometimes, she shouted at me too and we both said things that we don't mean it, but we adore each other. During worse time, we might not speak to each other for a month, we might just show our bitchy face, we would argue and then I cried silently. During good times, we jokes around and make fun of each other, we go out and we hold hands together just like sisters. What she has sacrificed is beyond words can explain.

She is my best friend, we were never physically close, but I tell her every single thing in my life. She taught me how to behave like a girl, she explains what is good and bad, she supports me in almost everything that I do, and most importantly, she showed me that although she is only a housewife and an ordinary woman, she is strong, no matter what happen in life, she faces everything and never shed a single tears in front of me and my brothers before. I admire her. I often question myself : How is it possible to stand so strong when everything else around fails? How this woman that i address as MUMMY manage to do that? How is it even possible when she is at her worst moment and she comforts me when she is the one having the worst feelings?

Mummy, I just wanna let you know that your daughter loves you. Yes, she might breaks your heart many times with mean words, but you're a huge part in her life. I can't afford to lose you, never. No matter what, I'm here for you, I'm here to listen and advise, I'm here to support you and I appreciate everything that you do for me. 

More like a Saturday boredom

Its 11.16p.m and I'm at home blogging, feeling emotionally unstable due to the visit of period :( I always hate this time of month because it gives me mood swing. What's on my mind now is my hubby, it has always been him, I miss him badly and he's out with his bunch, he did ask me to join but I just want him to enjoy his friends company. Such an understanding wifey right? *proud face* :) Nah, just joking. He deserves a night out as a reward for his full concentration in class today, and yes, he concentrates hard enough partly because the lecturer is HOT *drools* I wonder how she looks like because hubby seldom praise someone. Having migraine and mood swing at the same time is a BIG no-no. I HATE THIS! 

I have a good news to share *drumrolls*

I gained weight, I think, because 30 plus days with hubby and he gained 6kg, but due to sports and workouts, his weight reduces, but I think mine remains. Hubby's evil plan is to make me as fat as possible and he impressed me much because after 19 years of living with parents and no one, I repeat, no one can make me gain weight before, except for a kg or two and I really tries very hard to gain some weight but hubby in 30 plus days? Hmm, I wonder how he did that :) Impressive right? However, hubby is perfect to me, appearance wise and personality wise, he is just COMPLETELY PERFECT.

College life is dull, the last day of final on Friday brings Sem 4 to the end and I'm having a short break for 10 days only, then it's time for internship :( Feeling very stressful and restless. All I wanna do now is to have a trip, anywhere but a trip with the one I love, here, all things that I'm facing is too much. I NEED A BREAK! I've been complaining about my college life a lot because it is really frustrating. Endless assignments, then finals , then internship, then Sem 6, then graduation, and the degree. Ohmeegee -.- I don't even have time to work as freelance anymore, no time at all. And when I do, I feel tired, then when I'm super busy and occupied, I have tons of jobs offer. There goes all my income. Doomed.

Basically I have no idea what am I crapping above, I have nothing to do. I'm bored. Stupid migraine. Now I wish hubby pass his books to me so I can at least do some summarization of main points for him, since he sucks at it and I'm a pro :) I can easily summarize 15 pages of information into 3 pages. Hehehe. Told ya all I'm a pro! *clap clap* Enough of crapping already, most of u probably didn't even end up reading till here, I bet almost all stops halfway or at the first few sentence or even the first paragraph. Forgive me, I know I've been posting about my hubby a lot, bear with me, but I'm just too happy to have him and I'm sure u guys are happy for me too, so, I will post MORE *evil laugh* :) I love all my readers but I love my hubby the most-est! That's all for now. XOXO  ♥

Leaving April behind and welcoming May

I blinked my eyes and April month is coming to the end already, one day more and I'm stepping into month of May :) April has been a great month for me, despite all dramas and miserable things that happened, it has been great after all. Too many things happened in this month but I'm feeling happy throughout this entire month, minus a few nights where I actually tear, not because of relationship, but some other issues and now, I'm getting used to it already. I learned that sometimes, some things they are not controllable. Let it flow itself and it might be better for everyone. Also, it's great to know that there's someone who actually loves me so deeply, is always here through ups and downs and accepts me completely for who I am.

I'm missing April because:

1st April is when me and hubby clicks together :)

I'm looking forward to May because:

Its my first month anniversary with hubby which falls on the 1st May, can't wait to wish him *giggles*

My internship begins.

A month closer to my birthday and I'm expecting pressie? Not really, just crapping :)

Awaiting to see what's for me on May, good or bad, bring it on.

Notice how the first reason for both months is with hubby in it? Yes, this is how much he mean to me. 

Till then, the next post will be....SOON!

*counting down, 1 day more*

Pretending

If pretending is easy, tears wouldn't fall
If pretending is easy, struggle wouldn't exist
If pretending is easy, there's no stab right through the heart
If pretending is easy, the heart wouldn't ache so much
If pretending is easy, heart wouldn't cry when the face is smiling

Pretending, is never easy. But life goes on. How hard it drags me down, I'll have to stand up strong again and prove to myself that this hard time will be over soon. Nightmare is just a temporary thing. I'm glad ♥ hubby ♥ is here for me through the hard time. He is my sweetest reality during my worst nightmare.

Dealing with you is a waste of time :)

I don't deal with brainless people that have no life other than bitching about people, especially those that know NOTHING.

I don't entertain you by responding to your hate-post because that makes me no difference from you.

I don't make you all jolly by being sad over your childish post.

I don't have the time like you to create drama because I make full use of my time.

I don't bitch about u back because I don't know you and I think you're plain childish.

I don't understand your qualification on bitching me when you don't know about me, most importantly, you never spoke to me before, worse, you never even seen me face-to-face AT ALL.

I don't know how to pretend, therefore I'm not pretending to like you or even hate you because I DON'T KNOW you from top to toe. 

I don't mess with you, but if you wanna mess with me, go ahead :)

You have no life and I feel sorry for u, BUT I have my life and I'm happy with it. Being silence doesn't mean I'm afraid to confront you or satisfying you with your random hatred that comes out from nowhere but it's just that I don't see a point dealing with such drama queen wannabe and attention seeker people. Consider getting a life for yourself rather than shouting for attention all around, because that makes you look rather dumb and desperate *peace*

Reflection on life

The past - Everyone experienced it and they reflects on what they did

Ask yourself how much u value a friendship before u complained how u does not have any true friends
Ask yourself how sincere and real u are before u judge people that they are fake
Ask yourself how much u gave before u complained there is too little that u take
Ask yourself how much this person is worth to u before u ask him/her how much u values to him/her
Ask yourself can u keep your promise before u make any
Ask yourself how many percent of your words are the truth and lies
Ask yourself what has u done in the past before u complained about your worst scenarios
Ask yourself did u trust others before u complained how they don't trust u
Ask yourself how u treated your friend before u say they make your life a misery
Ask yourself how u treated your family members before u say how they upsets u
Ask yourself did u give all u have already before u complained about an unsuccessful scenarios
Ask yourself why u have no true friends before u said they takes u for granted
Ask yourself why your lover cry for u before u complained how annoying they are
Ask yourself do u care as much as u say u do before u say they neglected u
Ask yourself do u mean every word u said before u say how people doubt over u
Ask yourself how u take things for granted before u complained why u do not own happiness
Ask yourself if u put any efforts in things u do before u complained about how sucks the result might be
Ask yourself did u really change for the better after period before u complained why you're still alone
Ask yourself why others moved on and live a better life when you're still standing at the same spot
Ask yourself why when others are a success but you're a failure
Ask yourself why you're hiding underneath the blanket crying when your ex are already out with other girls/guys
Ask yourself why do u closes every chances u have when there are many opportunities offered
Ask yourself have u ever reflect on what u did and how much u picked up and learn from there


CHANGE! With changing then you'll see a window that opens for u even when a door shuts, never stand still at the same place where u stood years ago when people are already walking their path, you truly live your life only when u initiate the first move.

With love, 

Renee A

Restless

Listening to: Aku bukan untukmu by Rossa

So many things is going around

People never seems to be as pure and sincere as they used to be

Everyone starts faking in front of each other

People no longer appreciate what others do for them

Please, for just once, make my life easier for me

Please, for just once, put yourself in my shoes and understand my situation

I'm restless

I just want to live a simple life

And people, stop giving me hard times

I want to be the one whom I used to be

Not by putting a fake smile and face people when I'm feeling shitty inside

Please, don't be selfish anymore

Just once, try to understand the bigger picture

I really appreciate this

Are you an alpha male or metrosexual? Who makes a better boyfriend?

Do u wish that the guys u date would be more like your girlfriends? He would say the right thing at the right time, actually notice that you've had different, more stunning clothing and prepare a deliciously awesome meals just  for the two of u? It sounds almost impossible but is dating a guy who's in touch with his feminine side would make u happy in the long run? Or would u get super tired of fighting with him for your share time in the bathroom? Men, they are completely different from women, and though their appeals may sometimes get on our nerves, these appeals make them seem more macho and stronger. 

Here's the question to the females: Will a man's man make u happy or would u be better off with a guy who borrows your hair product? Which to opt for as boyfriend? An alpha male or metrosexual?

Here's the question to the males: Which categories are u under? What are your positive traits and flaws? What makes u so attractive or less attractive?

DATING AND RELATING
The Metrosexual
PROS: As he gets the whole issue of gender equality, u won't have to convince him that women should not be objectified. He'll do romantic stuff like organize a sunset dinner or wake u up with breakfast in bed. He'll also be happy to choose which updo complement best with your outfits. If you're feeling down, he'll notice it right away and offer offers that will make u melt, without having to be asked. He'll also be able to tell when there's a problem. He'll realise that communication is important for relationship and will even read self-help book to further improve your intimacy.
CONS: In an argument, he will throw in all annoying stuff when u wish he would keep it simple. While other guy you've dated might have a bad fight with u and then move on, u'll find yourself having to reassure him for the next few days or weeks that u still likes him. He's often being emo and too much on feminine sides. U may start to crave for someone who is less appearance-focused instead.


The Alpha
PROS: He won't be so fussy about what u cook for dinner. He loves to party and get adventurous on weekends or staying up all night. When you're with him, he'll make u feel secure, protected, desirable and totally feminine. Hanging out with alpha male may also teach u a lot about self-promote skills and this will benefits when u're out working. As they likes to be in control, he will take care of u - he will RSVP for dinner and etc, and u'll love feeling so protected.
CONS: The alpha male likes hanging out at pubs and might sometimes bore u into stuff like footballs or other cliched male topics. Worse, isn't as sensitive as the metrosexual, he'll never realise it even after hours. He might have trouble communicating or saying "I love u" and if few problem hits, he'll have no idea how to talk it through. When you're with him, you'll feel loved and idolised - he will lift u in his arms and kiss u and get snarly when guy looks at u. This is flattering but it will get u both into problems when its being done too much and often. He thinks u're not independent enough to handle stuff on your own. U might also find yourself competing with him to spare some quality time alone as he'll be too busy with his own activities. And when there is argument, he will go defensive and throw hurtful comments and accusations that doesn't help even a bit. Sometimes u have to stand on the ground and remind him u too have opinion and yours is just as valid as his.


IN THE BEDROOM
The Metrosexual
PROS: He will be sensitive and intense and won't make a big fuss of it if u're not in the mood - he'll be happy to cuddle up and have a meaningful conversation instead. When making love, he won't be in a tearing hurry but he knows how to get u in the mood and not just wanting to rush to his climax. He will be happy to set a romantic ambience and will be turned on by turning u on so he'll be sensitive to your needs.
CONS: You'll get fussy if he over-analyses things and may sometimes wishes he will just make everything simpler, and wilder. 


The Alpha Male
PROS: He will make u feel all women and tell u how sexy u look. He;ll make your love making session passionate and will be able to laugh which means he take things not too seriously on the bed if embarrassing things happen. 
CONS: He might not be a soft kisser as he tends to kiss wildly and also badly. He rush things during the session and though he is easily turned on, u might find yourself having to teach him how to improve further. Sometimes, you'll get frustrated how he doesn't like to cuddle up and when u prefer to cuddles, he thinks he is not pleasing u. When u tell him to be more gentle, he will take it personally and sulk, thinking you're being critical.


LOOKS AND GROOMING
The Metrosexual
PROS: This guy won't hold back on doing everything he can to make him look fantastic. He will work out, use moisturiser, and spend more money on clothes than u do. You'll never have to worry how embarrass he'll look because he will only present the best of himself. Which means when you're out together, you'll feel proud because he will always look groomed and hot! He may also able to refer u to the best hairdresser and won't complain when u spend your entire day looking for your clothes. When you stay over, you won't have to pick your skin care because he have it all. He also looks for high end quality product - Calvin Klein as his hot  underwear.
CONS: Your guy may spend too much blowing his hair and his obsession with look starts to get on your nerves. U may have to fight with him for your time in front of the mirror because he will take too long grooming himself. When you both are out, u may find yourself competing with him to look gorgeous. He is too appearance conscious.


The Alpha Male
PROS: He will do whatever he can that make him look sexy. He will never run u late to an event because he is still fussy on which clothes to put on or how to style his hair. When it comes to clothes and grooming, he's not hung up. He'll be ready to leave for movie and will be totally cool if u couldn't be bothered to shower or prefer staying in your cargo pants instead of dressing up. He'll be happy spending a lil extra money buying you something lovely to wear or your girlfriends their drinks.
CONS: He might not always look at his best, unlike the metrosexual . If you're going out to some special occasion, u might have to nag him to put on something more proper. You might also have to nag him to wash his hair more often or shower. Over time, u might get tired of all these, feeling like you're more like his mother rather than GF, wishing he could act like his age and get himself together when it comes to personal hygiene and right dress code.


HOW TO READ THE SIGN?
THE METROSEXUAL: 
-Perfect hair
-Expensive looking outfits
-Wear expensive and sexy underwear
-Well shaved
-Talks about what's on cinema


THE ALPHA MALE:
-Just got out of bed hair
-Faded and ripped jeans
-One day growth
-Lots of mates nearby
-Drinks just any beer
-Talks about sports a lot


So, which male are u? And which is the type of boyfriend you're looking for? Hope this helps both males and females to understand yourself or your other half better :) 


P/S: I spent all my time doing survey and typed this! Not by copy and paste! 

With love,

Renee A

Perfection VS change

What is the definition of perfection? As stated from websites:

- Being complete of its kind and without defect or blemish

- A state of completeness and flawlessness

- A quality, endowment, or acquirement completely excellent; an ideal faultlessness; especially, the divine attribute of complete excellence

Whatever, it's all nonsense! Because...nobody is perfect! No matter how hard we try to be, no matter how we change, no matter how well we watch ourselves, nobody is really perfect, or some may say, perfection is on the eyes of beholder, true enough :)

So, if perfection is on the eyes of beholder, why bother asking your love ones or friends to change? If their personality is the reason why you're first attracted to, but why after time to time, we started to get anxious and demand them to change? From this to that, from that to this?

This is the question I'll never know the answer, I'm sure many of us don't. Human nature is all I can conclude.

If nobody is perfect, stop asking people to change to reach your level of perfection, it's impossible, they might reach your so-called perfection level, but then they will not be them, make sense? If you yourself is not perfect, why bother asking people to change for u? Tolerance is different, it is not changing :) 

In one's life, we might experienced all these before, either to families, friends or lovers, we try our very best to please them and end up being in a miserable life. Why? Simply because we feel there is a need to change, so perhaps we will be better, yes, i agree, change to be better, but not changing yourself entirely please. This is not healthy. We can't please everyone, let say initially we are A, then we changed to B, but during phase B, some people might like us, some might hate, then slowly, we change to phase C, and again, the same thing happens! See how the circle goes? It's never ending! So why bother even pleasing everyone when u can never please everyone? 

Live your life the way u want it, change if it's for better, but never change YOURSELF throughly, no matter for who :) Everyone is unique in their own way, trust me, this is true!

Conclusion: Please yourself and respect those you cares! Life is too beautiful to keep stressing yourself dearies!

With love,

Renee A